


The Bonds We Make

by Geekygamer



Category: Avatar (2009)
Genre: Botched Science Terminology, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Mild Cannon Diversion, Romance, maybe smut don't hold me to that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:14:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24643897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geekygamer/pseuds/Geekygamer
Summary: Doya Gillies is a very intelligent, headstrong woman with a passion for plants and people. She spent years studying her ass off to be a botanist. Far from home in the most hostile environments known to man, Doya is more than up to the challenges of pandora.(On hiatus. Currently, bulk writing several chapters.)Edit: Okay so I know in my reply to someone's comment I said I'd hopefully be updating this fic sometime in December but due to some family issues I don't think that's possible anymore. I can't give a set date to when I'll finally be posting again, hopefully sometime in early 2021.Thank you for being patient with me.
Relationships: Neytiri te Tskaha Mo'at’ite/Jake Sully, Trudy Chacon/Norm Spellman, Tsu'tey te Rongloa Ateyitan/Original Character(s), Tsu'tey te Rongloa Ateyitan/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	1. Prologue: Cryo Day

**Author's Note:**

> Note: this story starts in 2143 nine years before the movie takes place and will eventually meet up with the movies' and its events.  
> Doya “Doe-yah”  
> Waya “wah- hyah”  
> Unaduti "OO-nah-DOO-tee"

“Unaduti! Have you seen Waya’s backpack?!” my mother shouts from across the house

“Isn’t in the kitchen?!” 

“No!” 

The walls muffled the yelling as I do some last-minute packing, to be honest, I’m really going to miss this in my life. Most young people nowadays want to move out as fast as they can to get away from their family’s craziness. 

It’s honestly kind of sad.

Now don’t get me wrong! A toxic relationship with your family? By all means, run for the fuckin’ hills as fast as possible. But a healthy relationship with them, it’s the best damn thing you could ask for. My family means the world to me despite how the arguing makes it appear the opposite. As much as I hate to leave I didn’t throw away my adolescents and work my ass off for over a decade to not take this opportunity! 

There was a soft knock on my door before it creaked open revealing one of my younger brothers, Waya, looking grim 

“Hey, Doya?” I look up from my bag to see Waya holding a bone choker “What’s up?” I say as I drop the shirt I was folding on my bed.

“Do you think they’ll let you take this with you?” “I don’t see why they wouldn’t, I’m not going as part of the military so I don’t have to wear a uniform thank fuck.”  
Waya perked up at this “I didn’t know if you’d be able to take it with you or not but I made it anyways, here.” 

I took the choker for him and pulled him into a hug “I’m gonna miss you, sis.” He sniffled into my shoulder 

“I’m going to miss you too Waya, hug mom for me while I’m gone ok.” “I will.” He says while pulling away and wipes a tear with the back of his hand. 

“Promise me you’ll stay out of trouble,” I say while tying the string of the choker at the back of my neck. “I’ll try.” he chuckled “I mean it, man! Don’t do anything that’ll jeopardize your scholarships!” I huffed “Doya I’ll be fine! I promise I won’t do anything to fuck up my chances. I’ll study my ass off and get up there after you!”

“I know you will kiddo.” I smile while ruffling his raven hair. He swats my hand away “Come on your ride should be here any minute!” he picks up my duffle bag and hands it to me. At the front door, I say goodbye to my family one last time before hopping into the company van that’ll take me to the cryo labs so I can be shipped off with the rest of the program participants. Pandora here I come!


	2. Chapter 1:The Arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normal- English,  
> Italicized-Na’vi

Slowly opening my eyes my vision was blurry as all hell. Blinking rapidly the pale white wall of my pod becomes more and more clear. They weren’t kidding when they said you don’t dream during cryosleep, they also weren’t kidding about cryosleep giving you the worst hangout of your life. I feel worse than that time I tried out drinking Alex by taking six shots of tequila after chugging a pint of Canadian lager, fuckin’ mistake that was. My pod opens, a medical staff floats over to me and checks my vitals “Everything looks good.” She states “We there?” I ask in my groggy state “Yeah, we’re there princess. Try to take it easy will ya.”

She unhooks me and floats off to check on another pod. Almost everyone was up out of their pods now a few were taking a bit longer to shake off cryo. I floated over to my locker on the left of my pod, opening it, I grabbed a thick hair tie. I pulled my red dreadlocks up into a bun, shame there’s no mirror bet my deads look hilarious floatin’ ‘bout in zero-G. Now where the hell are my clothes? I want out of the god awful scrubs.

The shuttle ride down to the plant was bumpy as to be expected. I was sat in between two other avatar drivers a kid named Rachel Scheidegger (“Shy-digger”) on my right. She looks like she was in her very early twenties though who knows faces can be deceiving, I’ve been told I don’t look remotely close to 30. An old classmate Matthew Adams was on my left, I think he’s around my age. Rachel seems very much like a bubbly chatterbox of a kid with how much she was gushing about finally being on Pandora, Adams, however, was mostly silent through the ride only over giving an occasion ‘hmms’ and head nods during Rachel’s rambling. Come to think about it I think I’ve ever heard him speak not even in the classes we were in.

“Let’s go! Exo-packs on people!” the flight assistant barked while moving towards the hangar door. Quickly pulling my mask on and adjusting it making sure it’s sealed properly I stand with everyone else while grabbing my duffle bag “Remember, people, you lose that mask, you will become unconscious in twenty seconds, then you’ll be dead in four minutes!” “Go go go!” He yells as the hangar door opens, the line of soldiers ahead of me jogs out. Rachel, Matthew, myself, and a couple other scientists that were on the ride with us hurry after them.

Taking in the surrounding of the large concrete base brought a frown to my face, this world is known for its stunning ecosystems and the first thing I see is some ugly ass concrete. “For fuck’s sake,” I mutter to myself while watching someone in an exosuit stomp past me.

This place is a damn eyesore.

“Oi you come or not!?” one of the scientists from my group yells over at me. Shaking my head I follow them into the building ignoring the comments some of the soldiers were making. One thing that stuck with me the most from my time in the army is that it’s filled with moronic meatheads who didn’t know the meaning of piss off.

Walking into the cafeteria late I took a seat at the back, my knees fitting awkwardly under the table. I stare at the forset out the window behind the one giving the safety brief, a smile creeping onto my lips. Just to think that in a day or two I’m going to be out there drowning in all that nature.

Damn! I was giddy!

Heading down the crowded hallway I was directed to that led to where my avatar was being kept, curious thoughts swimming through my mind as I weaved my way through all the scientists scurrying about. Just how much does my avatar look like me? The whole idea of perfectly blending human DNA with an alien species alone fascinates me, but the fact I’m about to see how MY DNA mixed with Na’vi DNA fascinates me even more.

“Hey wait up!” A high pitched voice yells with clattering footsteps behind me. Turning around I see Rachel rushing towards me dragging Matthew along behind her “Hey you’re another drive right? I’m Rachel Scheidegger and this is Matthew!” She says finally caught up to me, extending her hand that wasn’t keeping a firm grip on Matthew’s wrist.

“Doya, Doya Gillies.” I say shaking her hand “And I know who you are we met back on the shuttle.” She smacks herself on the forehead

“Shit, sorry! I’ve just been so excited to finally be here! I can honestly be such a ditz sometimes!”

“It’s fine really. Anyways you going to see your avatars right now too?”

“Yes!” she squeals “I’ve been so looking forwards to seeing them fully grown!” She was practically glowing from all excitement she’s caring. I’m surprised she hasn’t bounced off the wall and exploded yet “Alright then I think it’s just down here.”

As we reached the room I came to a full-force smack to the face via the door frame “Son of a bitch!” I exclaimed rubbing my forehead while ducking into the room, Rachel giggled beside me “Ah the downside to being a BFG!” Rachels says in-between giggles.

“BFG?” I raised a brow at her “Yep! Big friendly giant!”

“How do you know I’m friendly?”

“You haven’t threatened to kill me yet!” A clear wtf look was painted across mine and Matthews’s faces form just how cheery she stated that “What?” she asked as if her prior sentence was completely normal “A--, nothing..” I shook my head.

I spotted them right as I turned my head away from her “Woah…” I was mesmerized by them as we approach the tanks. A lab tech greets us “Hi I’m Max Patel nice to meet you.” “Hey…” both Rachel and I said simultaneously, still staring at Matthew’s avatar “Dude.... she looks exactly like me.” Rachel said approaching her avatar, placing a hand on the tank “Doya, right? Your avatar is over here…” Max paused for a moment looking hesitant “There was a mild anomaly with your avatar though.” “What kind of an anomaly?” I give him a confused look. He gestured for me to follow him. I glance back at Rachel who only gave me a shrug.

Rounding the corner on the other side of Rachel’s tank I saw right away the anomaly Max meant “Ho-ly shit!” You see the Na’vi have black and only black hair there have been absolutely no cases where there has been anything else.

In front of my eyes was my normal-looking avatar, cyan skin, and bioluminescence spots and all except for the VERY fuckin’ ginger hair. “Jesus Christ you damn ginger bastard!” Rachel exclaimed she caught sight of my avatar sending me into a fit of hysterical of laughter. Hold my sides which now hurt from laughing so hard “Oh this is fuckin’ grand!” I was grinning like the damn Cheshire Cat. “What do you think caused this?” I ask Max while leaning in to get a better look at her face.“Not a clue,” Maxx said. She looked almost exactly like me, the same strong jawline and high cheekbones to her full lips and soft brow and obviously the red hair. But that’s where the similarities ended. “She’s beautiful,” I whisper. Standing up straight I bump my head on a low hanging light.

“The world is not made for tall people.” I mutter, holding my head “This one is.” Rachel quips I send her playful glare “How tall are you anyway?”

“6 foot 5, you?”

“5 foot 4.”

“Pipsqueak.”

“Fuck you!” She says jokingly. “You guys ready to see the link room?” Max asked us, I gave him a nod. The three of us followed him into the link room, it was a large circular room with a platform at its center, filled with screens and swarming with scientists. Lining the room the whole way round we’re a dozen psionic link units. “Rachel you’re going to be in this link up here.” Max pointed at the link in the center of all of them “Doya you’re going to be in right next to her and Matthew you going to be in this one over here.” “Alright, so you’ll be able to link up with your avatars tomorrow. Be here at eight hundred.”

After the three of us left the link room Rachel and I decided to head back to the cafeteria to grab a bite before trying to find our bunks while Matthew went off to find who knows what. “So what division are you in?” I asked as we set our trays down “Entomology same as Mattew. What about you?” “Environmental study, I get to play with plants all, day,” I say cheerfully while tearing into my fruit cup.“Nice!” she said before shoving a spoon of porridge into her mouth

“You leave any family behind? God, I’m already missing my dad.”

“Yeah, my parents and my brothers.”

“How old are they?” I put my spoon down and think “Hmm, the twins should be 16, Wesa 18, Waya would be 22, Unaduti 27, Dustu 29, Adahy 30, Sequoyah 37, and Atohi would be 40.” Damn, I barely got here and I already missed so much of their lives. Rachel chocked on her drink “You have nine brothers?!” she exclaimed while coughing “Yeah I know it’s a lot.” “Damn your mom needs a hobby!” I threw my head back with laughter.

After dinner, we wander the barracks trying to find our bunks, turns out we ended up in the same room “3b50, 3b60 Ah here it is 3b70! Alright here is your keycards, don’t be afraid to ask me if you need anything else!” The staff member chirped before heading off, leaving us in front of our room. Our small room was big enough to hold two beds with drawers underneath and a side table on both sides of the door and a small metal desk on the opposite wall to the door without us having to step over each other too much.

“So...I’ll take the one on the right you take the left?” Rachel asked “Sure.” Opening one of my drawers I dropped my bag on the bed. I begin pulling out my clothes, refolding them and putting them away. Behind me, Rachel was unpacking as well “What’s that?” she asked peering over my shoulder at a small bag “Oh, that’s just some traditional jewelry and some into bits and bobs I that I put in my dreads.”

“Ah. That necklace is beautiful by the way.” she says gesturing to the bone choker Waya gave me poking out of the bag “Thanks, Waya actually made it for me before I left.”  
“Aw, that’s sweet!”

We kept chatting about small things like where we’re from, our families, and how the training went while we unpacked occasionally slipping between Na’vi and English.  
“I’m gonna head to the showers, I’ll be back in a bit.” “Okay.” While Rachel was out I could do a quick long. Slipping into a tank top and my pajama shorts, I sat at our desk, pulled up a small mirror, and started up the recorder “Okay, day one on Pandora passed as eventful as it could be minus the anomaly with my avatar.” I spoke as I weaved a few of beads onto a couple dreads “Tomorrow we’ll be linking up with our avatars. God, it all seems so surreal. I just, I don’t know, being here just doesn’t feel real yet.” “It’ll probably feel more real when all the paperwork starts,” Rachel said walking back into the room, drying her hair “Ugh! Don’t remind me!” I shut off the recorder “Come on we should get some shut-eye. Gotta be in there early.” I closed and locked the door to our room before shutting the lights off. Crawling under the sheet I can’t help but feel that this is the being of something fantastic to come. I fell asleep with a smile on my face that night.

The morning was a bit more hectic than it should have been, both Rachel and I woke up late. We forgot to set an alarm. Frantically we got dressed and bolted to the link room barely making it on time. Max and Matthew were watching a monitor displaying a driver’s brain signals. “There you two are.” Max huffed.

Before either of us could apologize a voice rang out behind us “This is them I assume Max.” Turning around THE Grace Augustine was walking up to our little group “This is them alright. Rachel, Doya, Matthew this is Dr.Grace Augustin.”

“Pleased to meet you Dr.Augustin,” I greeted her “Doya right? I’ve heard a lot of good things about you. How’s you Na’vi?”

_“I see you.”_ I touched my fingers to my forehead, the Na’vi’s greeting _“I’ve studied the language for over 10 years now I was around 15 when I started but there’s always room for improvement.” “Not bad you sound like a native speaker. What about you two?”_ she nods her head at Rachel and Matthew

_“There is still much for me to learn.”_ Rachel replies _“I’ve been told I’m pretty decent though I haven’t studied as long as Doya has,”_ Matthew said

“So that’s what you sound like! For a second there I thought you were mute.” I said to Matthew “I don’t talk that little.”

“Dude I sat behind you in three different classes during training and didn’t hear you speak once.” He had a blank look on his face.

“Alright, how ‘bout we get you guys linked up?” the three of us perked up at this. The link units looked like a cross between a coffin and a tanning been. Tapping on the monitor connected to my link unit I set up the link initiation. It’s didn’t take me long to have everything set up and running. A link tech took over as I lied down in the link unit and pulled the biometric sensor down. “All set?” I ask the tech, he gave me a thumbs-up and closed the lid to my unit. I’ve done this so many times before in training but this time I’ll be linking up with my avatar, not into some simulation. Fuckin’ mental. I laid there for a few moments before closing my eye and let my mind go blank.

It was like when waking up from a nap and you forget what year it was and where you were. Opening my eyes I was very aware of how more vibrant colors seemed even with blurry vision. A med-tech using a flashlight to check my eyes, I blinked a few more times before my vision cleared. “Doya can you hear me?” the tech asked, I nodded while sitting up “Hey! Not to fast now, take it easy.” Lord this felt amazing. Rachel was already up and going through basic motor control checks, Matthew, however, was just starting to stir. After he was up it didn’t take us long to be given the okay to head outside.

Stepping out after changing into a black tank top and white shorts I took a deep breath, to finally breathe some clean air, not that recycled oxygen. I couldn’t help but grin ear to ear. “You gonna put your shoes on?” Matthew asked standing behind me but I wasn’t listening I was too enthralled with my surroundings. I wonder, just how fast this body can run?

“Hmm~” A wicked shine grew in my eyes as I looked at the open space leading away from the base.

Dropping the pair of hiking boots I bolted, running as fast as my new body can. I heard Rachel laugh as she started to give chase. I ran pretty far from the main part of the compound before skidding to a halt, I barely had a few seconds to take in the feeling of the soil underneath my bare feet before Rachel collide into me knocking the both of us to the ground. Both were laughing our ass off for a couple of minutes. It was finally setting in, this was real! The rest of the day went by far too fast, I was sat on a cot in the building where we kept the avatars, dreading my avatar’s hair. Human body or not it felt too weird not having dreads, satisfied with my hair I laid down and let my mind go blank. I’ll thread some beads into them at a later date.

The lid of my link unit greeted me, pushing it and the biometric sensor off I sit up and rub my eyes. I have a massive headache from the link exhaustion, looking to my left I notice that both Rachel’s and Matthews’s units are empty. ‘I’ll find them later’ I thought to myself. God, my head was killing me. Groaning I pull myself off of the link unit, I decided to skip dinner and head straight to my room, I needed to sleep this headache off. When I got there I barely enough energy to put my pajamas on, flopping into bed I was out as so as my head hit my pillow. I hope things continue to go smoothly as they have been I could do without the link headaches though.

I can’t wait for the real work to begin!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fun facts about my OCs because I didn't describe their physical features very much. If you couldn't tell by the names Doya and her siblings are half Native American, half Scottish.  
> Rachel is obviously of German descent, she actually gave me the hardest time with coming up with a last name for her so I went with something close to home and I chose my step grandfather's name.  
> Matthew is actually Phillipino American, he's probably the hardest character to write for me. I love me some quiet goofball type but it ain't easy for me to write them.  
> This story has been so much fun for me to write I truly hope you like it. Enjoy!


	3. Chapter 2: Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mild trigger warning!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normal- English,  
> Italicized-Na’vi

The low hum of the oxygen recycler filled my ears as I dug through I backpack looking for my logging camera. Throwing my pack to the side, I get on my knees to look under my bunk “How the fuck did it get under here?” I mutter to myself as I retrieve it. Wiping the dirt off my knees I bring the camera to the table in the link room where I left my notes “Log 7,668, day 2,372, location site 52, Needle Hills. The octoshrooms have been showing great progress as an antivenin in very small doses, more testing required.” I flipped through my notebook “Atokirina, observations have been fruitless, beyond the ritual belief of the Na’vi the atokirina have shown no greater role in the ecosystem,” I droned on.

A mug was suddenly in my face cutting off my monotoned report “Thanks, Jackson.” I say taking the mug from him and taking a sip before setting the mug down, going back to my notes I cross out a line of inconclusive results. “I don’t get how you three aren’t bored out of my mind studying this shit all day, every day.” He said leaning against the table. Jackson is the pilot the flew up to this site. When I first met him all I want to do was knock the motherfucker’s teeth out, he came off as such an arrogant jackass at first, still does sometimes but once you get to know him he’s not so bad.

“Because this is riveting shit, Willams,” Rachel replied while look at a slide through the microscope next to me, her short dark blonde hair blocking her face. Jackson just shook his head “He still out there?” he asked nodding towards the window.

Shutting off the camera I lean back in my chair to get a better look out the window “Yeah.” I say catching sight of Matthew laying on the ground a few feet from the site containers “I’ll go get him,” I said standing up

“You gonna put pants on first?” Jackson asked gesturing with the mug hand to my bare leg, “No offense but seeing your half nacked ass every day wasn’t how I saw my life on Pandora going.” Rachel said, change her slide “Bitch, please! We’ve been bunking in the same room together for the past seven years, I’ve seen you naked ass more times than I’m willing to count.” I say putting my mask on, Jackson snickered as I exited the containers.

Okay, maybe I do walk around in my underwear a bit too much.

I leaned over Matthew “You coming inside anytime soon?”

“Probably not,” he says not bothering to open his eyes.

Sighing I plop down beside him “Alright! Talk to me.”

“About?”

“Oh come on don’t give me that! Something obviously bugging you!” Matthew and Rachel have become like siblings to me over the years, seeing either one of them upset hurts me. I don’t like seeing people I care for unhappy.

He sighed, sitting up he looks me in eye “I’m worried about the Na’vi.”

“It’s just watching these people’s land being stolen from them because we as a species fuck our plant! I can’t stand it, it’s not right! We’re just repeating history at this point!”

I nodded “I get it, believe me, I get it.” I sigh bringing my knees to my chest “It’s sucks feeling like you can’t do anything when you see injustice happening but try to remember that there are things you can do.”

“Like what?” I take a deep breath “Like, acting as a shield for them.” he gave me a confused look

“Whether it be physically putting yourself between them and the oppressors or just speaking out against what’s happening.” I continued looking him dead in the eye

“Anything you can do no matter how little it may seem, it does help!”

Matthew was silent for a moment before I saw the tension in his shoulders disappear a bit “Thanks.” He said barely about a whisper “You feel any better?”

“Yeah, yeah I do.” I gave him a smile “Right!” I say placing a hand on his shoulder, giving him a little shake “Let’s go back in, we still got to pack up before we head back to Hell’s Gate.” I pat his shoulder before standing up. “Back to dealing with jarhead military and egotistical corporate pricks, what fun.” I laughed at that.

It was early morning when we got back to Hell’s Gate, we drop our stuff off at our bunks before the four of us making a beeline for the cafeteria. “So we’re were about ready to give up looking for them and just wait till daybreak when we hear this loud ass bang” I slam my fist on the table to mimic the sound “Both of us take aim thinking it was the enemy then out of nowhere David and Anthony come barreling past us screaming something about the moon being alive and was after them,” I say earning a laugh from everyone at the table

“What happened to them?” one of the scientists asks while laughing “Turns out they found some jimsonweed and decided to EAT the fuckin’ thing not knowing what it was. They were tripping out of their goddamn minds!” I said in between bites.

“Jesus that’s hilarious, like how dumb can you be!?” Rachel chirps “Seriously they are some of the stupidest motherfuckers I’ve met to date, damn good soldiers though but man they were dumb as shit!”

“Can’t jimsonweed be fatal?” Matthew asked, “Oh yeah, like I said stupidest motherfuckers I’ve met!” I shook my head while chucking. “Alright kiddies I gotta get going,” I say stand up and grabbing my tray “Off to see Dr.Grinch?” Jackson joked, I just waved him off.

“Morning,” I greeted Max and the staff as I enter the link room. I set up my link at the only unit that would fit someone my height. Opening my eyes the mesh net that surrounds the cots greeted me, sitting up I link my fingers together and bring my arms over my head in a stretch. Today I’m supposed to head out with Dr.Agustine to gather soil samples. Over the last seven years, I haven’t had many interactions with Grace due to my research taking me off base months at a time more often than not, that, and the school Grace is running for the children of the Omaticaya clan. Which was where I was going to meet up with her.

To be honest I was rather apprehensive about being there. I haven’t had any contact with the Na’vi at all due to the genetic anomaly in my avatar that caused the red hair, I didn’t want to cause an incident, which breaks my heart. I truly wish I could learn about their culture from them directly. Being stuck on this concrete base devoid of the traditions of my people, despite doing what I love this place just feels so hollow. Rachel, Matthew, and some of the other scientists had asked me to teach them some of our traditions a while ago, it helps ease the aching in my heart a bit.

The loud blades of the gunship sent leaves flying everywhere as we landed. Hopping out I press the two buttons on my com “Shut it down I’m going to be here a while!” I yelled over the noise. We landed at a safe distance from the school to not scare the children if they were there already. Which meant I was hoofing it. As I approached the stairs at the front of the school I could hear Grace going over a lesson with the children occasional repeating after her.

Standing in the doorway I’m greeted to the view several kids surrounding Grace at a table looking at the book in her hand, a couple of them were even ON the table. God, kids are adorable. Placing my pack down next to the door caught one of the kids’ attention, he stared at me with a look of shock and amazement, I shot him a smile. Welp so much for staying unnoticed. Grace now noticing her student no longer paying attention she followed his gaze which in turn caused the rest to finally spot me their faces adopting the same look as their classmate.  
_“Hello,”_ I say walking towards them trying to break the awkward silence “You’re late.” Grace said “Sorry,” I say now standing next to her.

One of the braver children reached out and touched my braid that was pulled over my shoulder curiously. I knelt down at the table and the children swarmed me some were fondling my dreads others were touching the bone neckless I’ve made for my avatar. “They’re enamored with you.” Gace said watching them with a smile on her face “Yeah, I kind of saw this coming.” She laughed at that. I spent the rest of the day helping Grace with her lessons and playing with the children, it was a bit surprising to see how different Grace was around the kids it was kinda adorable. “I didn’t expect to miss being around kids this much,” I say as we were cleaning up, the children have gone back to the clan now. “Were you around children a lot back on Earth?” Grace asked while reshelving the books “I used to babysit my younger siblings a lot, I’m around 10 years older than a few of them so I’m pretty used to being around young children.”  
“You have any kids Grace?”  
“No, didn’t have the time before coming out here.”  
“Well,” I say putting an arm around her shoulder “Guess we get to be spinsters together.” I joked to which she elbowed me in the ribs for “I am not that old yet!” She chuckled “Come on let’s go get those samples we still have a couple of hours left before sundown.” Giving me a slap on the back she heads out the door, I grab my pack and follow after her.

Over the next few months, I would help Grace at the school in between my other work. The first few weeks Rachel couldn’t stop pointing out how much more I was smiling, being with the children has been a vast improvement for my mental state I suppose. My favorite moment with them so far was how fascinated they were by me playing the guitar for them. Kids just bring a sense of warmth to my heart. 

“You sure Grace won’t mind me being there?” Jackson asked walking a little behind me “Maybe, just keep your gun holstered and try not to swear around the kids and you should be fine.” I say moving through the undergrowth with ease “Can you slow down? It’s ain’t exactly easy trying to keep up with someone practically double my size!” I snorted “That’s what he said!” I say stopping to let him catch up “Ha Ha very funny, and you say I’m the immature one in the group.”  
“You are numbnuts! Now come on we’re not that far.”

As we were getting closer something just felt off, it was as if the entire forest fell silent, a heavy sense of dread permeated the air the closer we got. “Something doesn’t feel right,” I say throwing a worried look back at Jackson to which he returned one of confusion. That’s when we heard it, gunshots ringing out and deafening screams. My heart sank and my mind went blank. I ran. Jackson yelling after me as I disappeared into the forest.

Reaching the school I saw them, four soldiers firing, Sylwanin’s body lying in the doorway. Rage flooded my veins, red blind my vision, I unhooked my backpack as I ran at them. Grabbing the top of the door frame I fling my body over Sylwanin’s into the room landing right behind a soldier. Grabbing him by the back of the neck and hurl him into the soldier on the other side of the room. The other two aiming for me now, not wasting a second I rush and snatch the gun from the one nearest to me and bash him in the head with it then threw the gun at the other soldier still standing, knocking him down. An animalistic hiss escaped me as I took a low defensive stance, my eyes snapped around the room from the Sukke, Sylwanin, and Kewepx’s bodies laying not far from each other to the soldiers on the ground. Anger boiling my blood.

Jackson burst into the room gun ready, horror took over his face as he saw the scene before him “God,” he whispered, horror in his eyes quickly turned angry. His sight snapped to the soldiers groaning in pain on the floor, he aimed at them “Reach for your weapon and I won’t hesitate to put a bullet between your eyes.” He said as one tried to get back up. As he cuffed the soldiers I dropped to my knees the weight of reality set in, wrapping my arms around myself the tears spilled from my eyes, my sorrowful wails echoed off the wall. My chest hurt as it became void of my shattered heart. I don’t know how much time past before I felt a hand on my shoulder, looking up I saw Grace, her own tears streaming down her face. She pulled me to my feet and took me into her arms. We held tight to one another as we cried into each other’s shoulder. I felt empty.

I shoved the lid of my link unit and clutched my chest, breathing heavily. Anger overtaking me once again “Well someone’s back early,” Rachel’s said in a cheery tone. My breathing was erratic, tears pouring down my face, the pain reaching back through the link. Rachel’s face dropped finally noticing my distressed state “Doya what happened?” I couldn’t comprehend anything, everything sounded muffled as if I was underwater.  
“Doya?!” several voices yelled after me as I ran from the room. I ran to the hanger bay Jackson had radioed in what had happened, several soldiers and the colonel was already there detaining the murders. Someone tried blocking me from getting too close with one hand I shoved and slammed the soldier into the wall. Honestly, I had no idea what I was going to do I wasn’t thinking, I couldn’t, my body was acting on its own.  
Everything after that was just massive a blur.  
I vaguely remember the colonel said something that made me lunge at him, Jackson and Matthew dragging me out of the room as my rage-fueled screams rung out, Rachel’s hands on my face saying something that I couldn’t hear before I felt a needle in the side of my neck then a wave of calm followed by darkness.

My limbs felt heavy, an empty ache in my chest. Soft sheets beneath me I stared at the ceiling of my room, hearing the door open I couldn’t care to look. The edge of my bed sank Rachel’s hand on my head I rolled over. Rapping my arms around her torso, I cried into her stomach, she stroked my hair making shushing noises, repeating that it was going to be okay.  
I cried until it felt like fire-filled my lungs, I cried till I was too exhausted cried anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was honestly an extremely hard chapter for me to write. A good writer will try to put themselves into their character's shoes to get a better understanding of how to write them. As someone who has suffered from severe depression and panic attacks and is in a much better place now, it was very difficult to write for Doya because I had to put myself back into that state of mind.  
> To those how may read this who suffer from depression, grief, panic attacks, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts please remember that you are loved that you are worth it and that no matter what, things will get better.


	4. Chapter 3: Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normal- English,  
> Italicized-Na’vi

There are two types of pain in this world, the one that changes you and the one that breaks you. I can’t tell which one mine is yet. I can’t remember how long it’s been, the days faded into nights, after what happened I’ve lost all sense of time. I didn’t have the will to eat most days, food just tasted like ash in my mouth. I’ve taken to sleeping most of the days away. On the better days, I was able to drag myself out of bed to get some work done only to have the whispers of my co-workers reminded me that I wasn’t okay. My friends try their best to help me through my pain but pain like this doesn’t give up easies, its claws are in deep.

I was sitting on my bed trying to focus on my research notes, keyword trying. _“What are you doing sweetheart?” the memory of my mother’s voice asked “I don’t know anymore, everything hurts mama,”_ I sniffled _“I know it does sweety but you can’t let the pain stop you from living. How would those children feel seeing you ill like this hmm, they adored you.”_ The sound of my tears hitting my notebook cut the silence that filled the room  
“ _Doya, my little one, you know they wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself because of them.”_ I took a long deep breath,  
_“You’re right, I can’t stay like this forever.”_  
_“That’s my girl.”_ The memory of her smile in mind faded as I drop my notes on the bed and push myself up to get dressed. Slipping on a t-shirt, cargo pants, and a pair of combat boots, I gave myself a once over in the mirror.  
I’ve lost far too much weight and muscle definition, I’ve got a lot of work to do.

Exiting onto the landing yard, mask on, backpack swung over one shoulder I walked towards Jackson gunship. Rachel and Matthew in their avatars were strapping in as I approached. Tossing my bag in and climbing into the gunner’s position at the left side door, Rachel and Matthew gave me a look of surprise “What?” I asked “Nothing,” they said in unison. A moment of silence passed “How are you feeling?” Matthew finally asked hesitantly “Like shit,” I said, “But I’m done wallowing.”  
They both smiled at me “So we gettin’ out of here or what?” I say looking over my shoulder at Jackson in the pit adjusting a few switches overhead “We will as soon as this meathead gets his ass in the fuckin’ ship” he yelled at the soldier standing just outside the other door, Caleb I think his name was “Yeah yeah, I’m coming.”  
He said climbing in the gunner’s position at the right side door. “Hey, Doya!” Jackson said over the comm, “Yeah?”  
“Welcome back to air Jackson! Your emergency exits are located to-” he was cut off by the four of us groaning simultaneously at his horribly overused joke.  
“Hey! I’m damn hilarious and you know it!” Jackson huffed  
“Just fly the damn ship would you!” I said laughing, this one finally able to reach my eyes.  
“Alright alright, geez!”

Rachel, Matthew, and I were hovering around a screen that was monitoring the electrical signals in the root of the tree that we were crouching in front of. “That was fast,” Rachel said as the electrical signals lit up the small screen within milliseconds of the needle piercing the root. The chattering sound of the wildlife filling the background as the three of us were debating on the similarities on the electrical signals from the tree to electrical signals that we were familiar with. “Shit, where’d Caleb go?” Matthew asked looking behind us, Rachel and I looking back as well to see the three of us were the only ones in the clearing now “Oh no, really?” Rachel said putting her hands on her hips.

“They can never send someone with common sense with us can they?” I say with an annoyed look on my face. “Seems like it,” Rachel said turning back around “You two pack up I’ll go retrieve our numbskull.” Matthew and I nodded and began packing up our equipment, a few minutes passed before we heard a loud screech that sounded like Rachel’s voice. We both took off running towards the scream, Matthew got there faster than me. I should’ve linked up instead of coming out here in human form. When I finally reached them, the scene made me take a pause.  
A female Na’vi was aiming her bow at Caleb who was, in turn, aiming his gun at her while Matthew was standing defensively in front of Rachel.

“Enough!” I shouted as I entered the small clearing. The Na’vi and Caleb only briefly taking their eyes off of each other to look over at me before going back to glaring at one another, neither lowering their weapons. Annoyance and anger grew on my face,  
I unhooked my backpack and slipped it off dropping it on the ground before stalking towards Caleb “Stand down!” I growled at him “Not a chance, not while t-”

“I said. STAND. DOWN!” I barked, summoning my drill sergeant voice while I grabbed the gun out of his hands and getting up in his face. “Next time I give you an order you fuckin’ follow it boy, is that clear!” I shouted in his face

“I was just-”

“Just what?” I cut him off, “Just behaving entirely out of line! This ain’t no fuckin’ cakewalk boy, you don’t go off on your own like that ever! You especially don’t go aiming your damn weapon at the Na’vi! There’s enough tension as there is, we don’t need you acting out of your ass adding to it!”  
He looked utterly defeated as he shrank back into himself almost like a child who was getting scolded for getting into the cookie jar.

Sighing I turn away from Caleb I look to the Na’vi woman, her arrow still knocked but not pulled back, a look of utter shock on her face from witnessing my outburst. _“I apologize for this idiot’s behavior,”_ I say speaking directly to her.

She doesn't respond, only watches me warily, her eyes moving between the gun in my hand and my face. Realizing this I toss the gun over to Matthew who catches "Don't give that back to him," I say pointing at Caleb to which Matthew gives me a nod. Turning back to the Na'vi woman I hold up my hands in the universal 'I mean you no harm' manner.

_"Listen,"_ I say,

_"We don't mean the forest or the Na'vi any harm, I know that may be hard to believe after everything that has happened but please trust that I speak the truth.”_ She looked quite hesitant, unsure of whether or not to believe my words.  
A thoughtful look quickly crossed her face before she put her arrow back in its quiver _“You,”_ she said using her bow to point at me _“Come.”_  
Pure confusion painted my face, I quickly look over at Rachel and Matthew who shared my confusion but their’s was mixed with worry. “ _Come,”_ the woman repeated with a bit more urgency in her voice

“Doya?” Rachel called out “I’ll be fine,” I told her “Get back to the gunship I’ll be back before nightfall, I promise.” I said trying my best to sound reassuring which didn’t seem very convincing to her. Looking at the woman I gave her a nod and started to follow after as she turned on her heel “We’re honestly letting her go off with that savage?!”  
I heard Caleb shout, glancing over my shoulder I watched Matthew drag off by the collar of his shirt.

We walked through the undergrowth for what seemed like hours, neither one of us bothering to speak, the situation we’re in wasn’t exactly the appropriate time for casual conversion. I was just barely able to keep up with her as we moved through the forest. As we crossed a large root over a small stream the canopy gradually revealed our destination. HomeTree.

From what I could tell from a distance was that the village was in full swing, there were small groups of young warriors scattered around the clearing. Some groups were practicing with there bows others looked to be trying to ride a pa'li. There was a small group of children playing near the water as a couple of adults watched them with smiles on their faces. _“Stay close,”_ my guide said as we quickly move out into the clearing approaching the roots of the tree where the rest of the village was located.  
My arrival caused much unrest in the village, many gathered to gawk at the alien entering their home. Many held looks of disdain and hatred others went between disdain and curiosity, none however tried to stop us from moving to the central space at the base of what I assumed was the main spiral staircase-like structure. Being surrounded by the clan made me feel short for the first time in my life. We stood before the clan’s Olo'eyktan, who stood on the more elevated part of the ground, he looked quite regal with the feathery mantle upon his shoulder. His daughter watched us from over his shoulder, a look of confused realization on her face I suppose she was able to recognize me out of my avatar.  
My guide lowered her head at Eytukan _“Why have you brought this creature here? I have said no humans may come here.”_ He asked my guide, anger painted his stern features.

My guide was silent for a while, the look on her face made it seem as if she herself didn’t understand why she brought me here “ _I am not entirely sure,”_ she said finally breaking her silence _“But, I think this woman may stand with the people.”_ Eytukan eyes narrowed at her words “ _This woman stopped a sky person warrior from killing me, tore his weapon from him, yelled at him, I could not understand what she had said but her words made the warrior cower."_  
She added which made Eytukan look at me with more shock and a little less anger “Is this true?” he asked me in English assuming that I didn’t speak their language. _“Yes,”_ I answered him in Na’vi, _“Why?”_ A strong female voice rang out everyone’s head looked to the person, Mo'at the spiritual leader of the clan looked down at me from the second level.  
_“What purpose does a sky person have to save one of the people?”_

Taking a deep breath to steel myself before speaking “ _The people have been harmed enough, what’s happening is not right.”_ I say in a respectful but not a submissive tone, their faces were unreadable as they took in my words _“A very long time ago when our world was as vast and beautiful as yours, my people lived in harmony with the land like you, then another group of humans came to us. They did not know how to live off the land as we did, so we taught them and they repaid us by killing us, they destroyed our homes, our traditions, our culture, most of us can not even speak our own languages anymore.”_

Quiet rage grew in my voice as I spoke. A silence fell upon the clan, no one dared to interrupt “ _What is happening to your people has happened to mine, and we did not survive it. Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it and the ones who lead the sky people, they do not want to learn.”_ Mo’at stared into my brown eyes only standing a few feet from me now, looking down at me _“But you do?”_ she asked, her expression still unreadable _“More than anything,”_ I answered returning her stare, ‘see me’ I begged with my eyes ‘see the truth in me’.  
_“What are you called?”_ Mo’at asked “Doya Gillies,”  
Eytukan stepped closer to Mo’at and I _“You are Do’yah? The dreamwalker that the children had spoken of?”_ He asked quiet murmurs spread amongst the children, and some of the adults, my name was called out a few times by the young ones.

_“I am,”_ I answered, Eytukan was silent for a moment, contemplating before turning his head towards my guide _“Vazìepa you will teach her our ways, to speak and walk as we do.”_ Vazìepa bowed her head _“Yes Olo'eyktan,”_ turning back to me he looks me in the eye, the anger now gone from his face. “ _You may return to us in the morning.”_ I bowed my head _“Thank you for this opportunity,”_ he nodded before turning away.

Vazìepa gestured for me to follow. I followed her out of hometree and up along the edge of the clearing to where she approached a pa'li, attaching her queue Vazìepa quite gracefully vaulted onto it’s back. She held out a hand to me, I hesitated for a moment before placing my hand in hers, pulling me up onto it’s back to sit in front of her. I’ve ridden a horse before but this felt different maybe it was because I wasn’t riding in my avatar form. I wasn’t use to feeling small, with humans I’m abnormally tall but amongst the Na’vi, I was about as tall as a young child right now. It felt weird. Vazìepa yipped and the pa'li trotted off.

It was a short ride back to the clearing where this whole thing started, the sun was getting close to setting now. The forset bathed the soft amber light of the sun, to say it was beautiful was a vast understatement. The pa’li came to a halt not far from the gunship hidden behind several large roots. Sliding off its back proved to be a hassle than I thought, I should have expected it though trying to getting off a creature that was about 4meters tall wasn’t going to be easy. _“I will be waiting here for you at sunrise, do not be late.”_  
_“I’ll try not to but it may be difficult to slip away,”_ Vazìepa nodded then turned the pa’li around and galloped off disappearing into the undergrowth. As I reached the gunship Rachel and Matthew perked up at the sound of my footsteps.  
“Oh thank fuck,” Jackson said finally noticing me as well “What happened?” Matthew asked. I shook my head at him with a look on my face that told them ‘not now’. The ride back to Hell’s Gate was tense, to say the least.  
I need to tell them what happened but I couldn’t do that with the dipshit here, he was already going to report back to Quaritch I didn’t want to give him more information to work with. As we exited the ship I mouthed ‘at the room’ at Rachel and Matthew before they went off to the avatar compound.  
It was easy to avoid suspicion with getting Jackson back to Rachel and I’s room, using the excuse that he wanted to make sure I actually ate worked like a charm.

This room really wasn’t meant for five people. Jackson was leaning against the closed door Matthew was sitting at the desk while Rachel stood next to him, Grace was sitting on Rachel’s bed. Rachel had actually managed to convince Grace to join us for this meeting, according to Grace, Rachel was so vague it was somewhat creepy.  
I was sitting on my bed as I explained what happened at hometree, everyone’s faces held a mixture of grimness and surprise as I relaid my tale.

“You can’t honestly be considering going through with this?” Jackson asked with a serious tone.

“Of course she is! She can’t just not go to them after Olo'eyktan told her to return!” Grace interjected in obvious frustration,

“Grace is right, I have to go, there’s enough bad blood between us and the Omaticayan if I don’t go they’ll only see us as untrustworthy,” I say leaning forwards, placing my elbows on my knees.

“If you’re so deadset on doing this we’re going have to keep this on the down-low,” Matthew said,

“We’re going to have to out of dodge.” Rachel chimed in “Not going to be easy, prick 1 and 2 are going to on our asses after today’s events.” Jackson said rubbing his face,

“I can buy you some time by distracting Quaritch and Selfridge while you four get your asses outta here,” she said with a look of determination in her eyes “Thank you, Grace,” I say “This is going to be one hell of a mess.” The five us shared a hollow laugh  
“Alright then the four of us need to get packing, we can try tomorrow morning to get the hell out of here,” I said earning a nod from everyone.

I ran my hands over my face,  
Jesus what have I gotten myself into.


	5. Chapter 4: D-day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normal- English,  
> Italicized-Na’vi
> 
> Naming chapters is the bane of my existence!

It was barely the crack of dawn, a sliver of sunlight was just peeking over the horizon as I pulled myself up to remove the last cover on the gunships’ exhaust. Getting our avatars to the ship was the most difficult part of the plan, the paranoia that moved within us increased tenfold as we snuck across the base as discreetly as possible as three 10 foot tall people can. Thankfully Grace was watching our backs.  
We wouldn’t have been able to get off base this easy without her help, hell we wouldn’t even have made it to the link room, to begin with, if not for her. “Prefight’s done get your ass in!” Jackson whisper yells at me, quickly I rush into the pit, closed the pilot side door and strap myself in as we take off, the blades of the ship sounded infinitely louder in the dead silence of the early morning. ‘For the love of god please let nothing go wrong’ I thought to myself. The four of us breathed a sigh of relief as the base faded into the distance behind us “Oh thank god,” Rachel huffed out while closing her eyes and resting her head against the seat “That was far too stressful.”

We were good for now.

\------------

The airlock hissed overhead and the seal on the inner door released letting us push it open. I quickly dumped our bags on the floor near the bunks and ripped my oxygen mask. Matthew was on the other side of the room flipped on the generator. The sound of the gunships’ blades still running outside could be heard through the walls quite clearly as Jackson waited for us. “Links are ready!” Rachel yelled from the other room.  
“Doya, you’re in the link at the end. Matthew, you’re in the middle one.” she told us as we entered the room “Thanks, Rachel,” I say checking my watch before getting in the link unit, 06:02. Yep, I was going to be late, shit.

“Alright, last time I’m going to ask, are you sure you want to go through with this?” Jackson's voice came over the comm as I was removing my shoes. “We didn’t just go through the panic of an unauthorized early morning departure just for me to back out,” I said grabbing the back of my shirt and pulled it off. “I have to do this Jackson,” I say looking him in the eye through the window of the gunship.

“Okay,” he says breaking eye contact. The beads in my dreads rattled against each other as I weaved them into a braid, a warm breeze hitting my back. “Well at least you being with the Na’vi gives you an actual excuse for running around practically naked,” Jackson joked as I was now standing in nothing but a chest rap and my panties.  
I flipped him off.

The sun was now halfway up the horizon, we were at the exact location as yesterday and Vazìepa was still nowhere in sight. I was starting to worry.  
“You know, you get told not to be late and yet we’re the ones waiting right now,”

“If it wasn’t for the fact that I’d probably get jumped I would’ve gone to find Vazìepa by now.” As if on cue Vazìepa appeared from the undergrowth. She paused for a quick moment, a minor look of surprise on her face before cautiously approaching me eyeing gunship the whole time.  
“Speak of the devil,” Jackson said.  
I greet her by touching my finger to my forehead, she returns the gesture before handing me a top made from a few strips of fabric and feathers and a loin cloth made from simple leather and a pale mint fabric. I bowed my head a little as a thank you. I walked to the other end of the ship to change “Peak and I gouge out your eyes.” I say to Jackson to which he chuckles “Not even in your dreams red.”

The feathers barely covered my chest and the loin cloth was a pain to put on.  
Stepping out from behind the gunship Vazìepa eyes my form giving me a nod of approval _“Come,”_ I gave her a nod. “See you at dinner,” I say to Jackson  
“Just don’t be going feral on me out there.” He joked,  
“Only in your dreams Willams. Now go on, get!” I say adjusting my necklaces, he just shook his head as he fired up the ship.

\------------------

The moss was soft under my feet as Vazìepa and I ran through the forest towards hometree, the morning sun shining brightly through the canopy making the vibrant colors of the forest seem even more breathtaking. I’ve been here eight or so years now and I’m still in awe of this world _“The children were not exaggerating when they spoke of your odd hair,”_ Vazìepa said breaking the comfortable silence, a smile crossed my lips _“Yeah, the red hair was a surprise for me as well.”_ We fell back into silence for a while as we continued on the forest floor, Vazìepa didn’t really seem like the talkative type.

Finally reaching hometree Vazìepa lead me through the village, many faces held disdain as I walked, many also stared in shock. I anticipated this reaction, this was the main reason why I chose not to have contact with the Na’vi for a long time but I suppose that doesn’t matter now. I was to learn from them, out of the pan into the fire as they say. _“Do’yah!”_ a high pitched voice yelled as I passed a group weaving fabrics. Several young children ran up to me, I recognized them immediately, these were Grace and I’s students. I couldn’t hide the smile that grew on my face as I knelt down _“My look how big you’ve grown, you look so beautiful.”_ I say as the children surround me playing with my necklaces and dreads. Vazìepa and some of the other adults watched on as I interacted with the children the looks of disdain I was getting were softening just a bit.

After a while, the children were called away by their parents. I turned back to Vazìepa who had a thoughtful look painted on her face “ _Alright, you've been giving me that look for a while now. If you got something to say, say it."_ She stared at me for a moment clearly not expecting me to notice her gaze. _"The children, you are very fond of them,"_ she said inquisitively. I smiled as I stood up and brushed the dirt from my knees _"That I am."_ She seemed as if she wanted to say more but chose not to. Vazìepa gestured for me to follow with her head before turning on her heel. The village was alive with the chatter of people, the sounds of children playing, songs that were being sung as work was being done. It reminded me of my home.

My smile turned bittersweet.

I followed her to a small area a little bit away from the roots of hometree where a group of young hunters was debating something, they shot me dirty looks as we passed them. Vazìepa handed me her bow. I raised a brow at her to which she said nothing and just pointed at the target that was about thirty or so yards from us, I shook my head and knocked an arrow. Taking a deep breath and tightening my core I drew the bowstring back _“Your hand is wrong,”_ Vazìepa says as she adjusted the height of my elbow _“Your palm must face away from you when you pull the bow back.”_  
The group of hunters made judgmental remarks as they watched Vazìepa correct me.

_“Like this?”_ I ask as I shifted my hold on the string, pulled it back once more _“Yes, that is it.”_ She gestured with her hand for me to take the shot. I hold my breath and aim slightly higher than the center of the target to count for the drop before letting the arrow loose, my arrow hit just above the center. Vazìepa hummed in approval  
_“I did not expect you to be skilled with a bow,”_ she said handing me another arrow _“It has been years since I’ve held a bow. Unfortunately, welding one is not a common skill amongst the sky people nowadays.”_ I say as I let an arrow loose again this time hitting dead center of the target. My shot shut up the group of hunters right up. I smirked as I loosed another arrow hitting right next to the one in the center.  
_“Not a bad shot,”_ Vazìepa said, _“Eh, I got lucky.”_  
As I knocked another I felt an intense stare burning a hole in my back more so than the others, turning to look behind me I caught sight of a familiar form before they hurried off right as I spotted them. “Was that?” I muttered to myself to which Vazìepa clicked her tongue at me bringing my attention back to the target _“That one now.”_ She said pointing to a target hanging in a tree a bit farther away than the first one. I could feel my muscles starting to ache already as I pulled the string back once more.

\----------------

I rolled my shoulder trying to relieve the soreness, my tail swaying lazily as I followed Vazìepa to the upper levels. It was getting close to the evening meal now, with how hectic this day has been I haven’t had the chance to eat yet in either body. The large chamber only had a small amount of the clan when we arrived.  
As we approached the fire at the center of the chamber someone pulled on my tail, whipping around to see the perpetrator I was greeted to one of the older children giggling their head off. Letting out a laugh as I crouched down to their level _“Now!”_ A voice yelled from behind me. Before I even could get a word out seven children rushed me knocking me onto my back and dog piled on me laughing hysterically the entire time.

Over the children’s laughter, I could hear Vazìepa and several others laughing as well. _“Ack! Oh no, I’ve been defeated by the Omaticaya's mightiest warriors whatever shall I do!”_ I say while laughing and trying to sit up _“Give up!”_ the children yell simultaneously still giggling while they kept trying to keep me pinned to the floor.  
_“Okay, okay I surrender!”_ I say slightly out of breath from laughing so much after several failed attempts. Cheering the children relent and move off of me allowing me to sit up with one of the young children hanging off my shoulders, and a couple stayed on my lap _“Story! Tell us a story sister Do’yah!”_ the children demanded in their victory. I laughed _“Okay, let’s see hmmm, how about-''_ Someone cleared their throat, cutting me off. Myself and the children looked up to see Mo'at watching the scene unfold with her daughter trailing behind her.  
_“I’ll tell you lot a story later alright,”_ I say removing the children from my lap which earns me disappointed ‘awws’  
_“Later, I promise now go on.”_

Standing I touch my fingers to my forehead _“I see you Tsahik Mo'at, Neytiri te Ckaha Mo'at’ite. It is a pleasure to speak with you once more.”_ Neytiri didn’t even look at me as she walked past her mother and I. A frown formed on my face.  
_“I see you Do’yah”_ Mo’at replies while returning the gesture _“The children seem very pleased with you being here.”_ I smiled, _“I suppose they do.”_

_“You handle children quite well.”_ Mo’at says with a neutral expression _“Yes, well, I helped raise several of my siblings so I am quite used to handling young children.”_

_“Your mother bore many then?”_

_“She did, I am the third oldest of the ten children my mother had.”_

As we spoke the clan filled chamber behind me I caught several stares out of the corner of my eye. Mo’at had noticed them as well _“Come,”_ she said gesturing for us to join the rest of the clan _“We shall finish this conversation at a later time.”_ I gave her a nod before joining Vazìepa next to the fire. Taking my seat on the floor cross-legged I caught sight of the familiar figure again moving through the crowd towards his spot. The one who had stared me down earlier was none other than the next clan leader Tsu'tey. Sensing my eyes on him he turned only briefly meeting my gaze before he took his seat with Mo’at and Eytukan.

I felt a painful stab in my heart.

Grace and I blamed our selves for what happened at the school for a long time, we still do at times. I can only imagine what Tsu’tey and Neytiri must be thinking right now. A tap on my shoulder broke me out of my melancholy thoughts _“Here,”_ Vazìepa says over the chatter of the clan handing me a leaf wrap _“Thank you.”_ I say unwrapping the beetle larvae with a white shrimp-like appearance called Teylu. As I popped one into my mouth a young girl crawled into my lap followed by a few more of the children from earlier moving to sit next to me. I looked to Vazìepa who only smiled at the children.  
I let out a huff as a smile grew on my lips again _“You want the story now I assume,”_ I asked them placing another Teylu in my mouth.  
They all perked up at that _“Yes please!”_ they said in unison. _“Alright,”_ I rewrapped my food and set it down.

_“Before time was time, there was a Great Hill. And on the Great Hill there lived the Yolks.”_ The children listened intently as I told the story.  
_“The Yolks spent their entire lives climbing the Great Hill, trying to reach the top. Some Yolks climbed fast. Some Yolks climbed slowly._  
_One Yolk in particular was a very slow climber. He was different than the rest of the Yolks. When he climbed, all the other Yolks passed him. It was hard for him to watch them pass by. He felt like the worst climber in the world. Some Yolks made fun of him as they passed. Others didn’t._  
_Some Yolks wanted to help him climb but he didn’t let them. It was hard for him to climb. It was even harder when it rained because the ground got slippery. Sometimes it seemed like it was only raining on him. But it wasn’t. There were times when he felt like he wasn’t moving at all._  
_But he was._  
_Then one day he met another Yolk who climbed even slower than he did. He helped the slower Yolk climb.“Thank You,” said the slower Yolk.“You’re Welcome,” said the slow Yolk,_  
_“I can’t be of much help to anyone else since I climb so slowly.”_  
_“Slowly?” asked the slower Yolk. “Well yes. I watch other Yolks pass me all the time.”_  
_“I do not know if you are slow or fast, but I do know that you helped me and that you are still climbing.”_  
_The slow Yolk said goodbye to the slower Yolk and kept climbing. “Still climbing,” he thought to himself. “That is true.”_  
_And he smiled._  
_So the Yolk kept climbing._  
_He climbed when it was nice out, he climbed when it rained, and he even climbed when it snowed. As he kept climbing he got better and better. Sometimes he would pass other Yolks and sometimes they would pass him. He had stopped paying attention. He also noticed that some Yolks were no longer climbing._  
_When a yolk stops climbing it stays where it is. Some Yolks stop climbing because they are happy with how far they have gone._  
_Others stop climbing because they don’t want to climb anymore. The Yolks that had stopped climbing did not like to be passed, and they made it harder to get by. But the Yolk kept climbing, right over them! There were still times when the Yolk thought he was climbing an impossible hill, but he kept climbing. Always, always, climbing.”_

At some point, I noticed the chatter had died down a bit. Looking up from the children as I finished telling the story I saw that many had stopped their conversions to listen as well. It honestly felt odd to have this much attention on me _“Did the yolk reach the top?”_ one child asked, _“Do you think he made the top?”_ I asked them.  
_“I think so,”_ another child answered.

\------------

I followed Vazìepa to the part of hometree that housed the hammocks that hung in between the walkways _“Your story, what did it mean?”_ Vazìepa asked me as she stopped just in front of a couple of hammocks _“It’s a story meant to help teach children perseverance and perspective.”_ I answered as I dropped down into a hammock careful not to fall out. It was surprisingly comfortable. Vazìepa hummed in response to my answer dropping down into her own hammock and pull it around her like a cocoon. I copied her and rolled onto my side.  
Closing my eyes I let my mind go blank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My god was this chapter was a bitch and a half to write! I mildly burned myself out with the first couple of chapters that I was quite uninspired for the most part. For several days straight I could only write about half a page in docs before my mind would just be like "Nope you done!" I'm actually surprised at how long this chapter turned out.  
> The story Doya told was The Great Hill by Daniel Errico  
> https://www.freechildrenstories.com/the-great-hill


	6. Chapter 5: Reaching Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normal- English,  
> Italicized-Na’vi

* * *

* * *

My muscles were screaming at me while blood was rushing to my head as I held a forearm stand. The hum of the air recycler mixed with the music we were playing. Today was one of those days where everything just had a relaxing air to it.  
We need more days like this, no worries about our corporate overlords, jarhead military or scientific duties, just pure calm existence.  
“You’re staring at his ass again,” I say to Rachel who was watching Matthew through the window as he collected soil readings “I was not!” She protested.  
“Yes, you were. You always have this dopey grin on your face when you think he’s not looking.”

“Your eyes are closed anyway you can’t even see my face right now!”

“Don’t have to,” I say, not bothering to open my eyes. “Your energy practically screams ‘please notice me!’ whenever you look at him.”

“It does not,” she said not convincingly in the slightest. “She being a lovesick schoolgirl again?” Jackson asked walking in from the link room  
“Yep.” I say coming out of my forearm stand “I’m not a lovesick schoolgirl!.”

“Yes, you are.” Jackson and I say in unison as I crawled under the blanket on my bunk “Ugh!” Rachel groaned.  
“You know the more you protest the more it sounds like you’re just trying to convince yourself not us,” Jackson said, placing his coffee mug in the microwave.  
Rachel glowered at us with a look of ‘I hate the both of you’. “Besides the pecks are where it’s at,”

“You only say that cuz you’re flat as a pancake.” I laughed as Jackson let out an exacerbated gasp at Rachel “How dare you! These cheeks are a pear of fresh juicy apples!” Jackson said turning to show off his butt which threw us into hysterics. The airlock hissed and the inner door pushed open. Matthew had a ‘the fuck’ expression on his face as he walked in on us losing our shit “The hell did I miss?” He asked as he set down the reading equipment “Nothing, just Jackson being sour about his flat ass,” I said wiping a tear from my eye.

“It is not flat!” Jackson huffed “It's pretty flat my dude.” Matthew says grabbing a drink for the fridge “Fuck, all of you.”  
Matthew nodded his head at me “Tutor let you off early?” he asked,  
“Yeah, I just told Vazìepa that I needed to take care of this body as much as my avatar’s and she let me off early.” I say sitting up, careful not to hit my head on the top bunk “I’m glad to see you’re getting back to being yourself Doya,” I threw Matthew a smile.  
“Diabetes,” Jackson blurted out, we just smirked and shook our heads as Matthew went into the link room, Rachel watching the whole way.

“What is she even been having you do?” Jackson asked pouring a bit of milk into his coffee “Reading tracks and archery practice more so the former than the latter.” “You’d think she’d be drilling you more on the archery first,” he said.

“Eh, I’m rusty with a bow it’s not like I’ve never handled one before.”

“Why did you even learn archery? No offense but it’s not really a useful skill back on Earth.” Jackson said taking a sip of his coffee,  
I nodded “Fair point, but you didn’t get into Stanford with a full scholarship at sixteen by just having good grades.” I say moving to sit on the edge of my bunk.  
Jackson choked on his drink “You got into Stanford at sixteen?!” He said in shock. “Yeah, didn’t I tell you?”

“You told Matthew and I when we got to Pandora, a few others know as well I think.” Rachel chimed in finally out of her love-stricken trance. “Fuckin’ how?!” Jackson asked, “I busted my ass off, how else?”  
“Dude close your mouth you’re gonna catch flies,” she said.  
I laughed, “If you’re done being slack-jawed over there I’m gonna hit the sack.” I say grabbing earplugs and a night mask from a small bag under my bunk.  
“Night dorks,” I say putting in my earbuds and crawling back under my blanket.

* * *

The pattering of the rain filled the early morning hours mixing with the ambient noises made by insects and small nocturnal animals. The moonlight blocked by stormy clouds. The forest was lit only by the bioluminescence of the plans as the sun was nowhere near rising yet.  
I was low to the ground to avoid alerting any prey to my presence. I crouched before the Yerik tracks in the mud, careful not to move in a way to cause my necklaces rattle. Touching the tracks I take a long inhale of the scents in the mud on my fingers. I close my eyes focusing on the sounds around me, the chirps of kenten filling my ears as I hunt for the noises of the Yerik.  
A sudden snap of a twig and the rustling of foliage nearby caught my attention. Opening my eyes I looked up into the canopy in search of Vazìepa and the other young hunters that were out here with us but I saw no trace of them. My attention went back to the tracks, deciding to follow them a bit farther before I went looking for the others. I moved through the undergrowth as quietly as possible.  
Slowly crawling on my stomach through the brush I finally spotted my target, an adult Yeirk and two juveniles were calmly grazing.

The rain had lightened to a mere drizzle, the clouds drifting apart allowing the soft orange glow of the rising sun to stream through the forest. Throwing a brief glance over my shoulder the rattle of the beads in my dreads that flowed freely down my back alerted Yeirk and it’s young to my presence, their heads snapping towards my direction the flaps on the sides of their heads fully extended. The mother let out a defensive noise before beating feet with its young.  
Coming out of my crawl, I knelt there for a while watching them disappear into the undergrowth.

* * *

I ran along a large root 30 or so meters above the ground, the bioluminescence of the forest now fully eaten by the rays of the sun.  
I stopped for a moment taking in long sniffs of the air before jumping and catching a branch to swing myself onto another root. I continued following the scent until I heard a couple of voices beneath me. Without a moment’s hesitation, I adjust my bow on my body and leaped from the root falling until I caught an enormous palm leaf to slow my descent as I slid down it, angling myself to catch another one. I landed in a crouch after falling off the last leaf right in front of Vazìepa and the others.  
To my surprise, Tsu’tey was with them. My entrance had caught his attention though not for long, he looked at me for barely 30 seconds before turning his back on me. Not bothering to say a word. A painful stab crossed my heart once more.  
I’ve been with the Omaticaya for almost a month now, both Tsu’tey and Neytiri have yet to speak with me let alone even look me in the eye. I've tried to not let how much it hurt me show, but sometimes I couldn’t help the melancholy look from appearing in my eyes. _“You found us quicker than I thought you would.”_ A female hunter said, Ewngen I think was her name.

I smirked to cover my sadness _“Häpunì stench is hard to miss,_ ” I said jokingly, the others laughed as Häpunìgave me a mildly offended look. The first few weeks I was met with nothing but disdain and distrust everyone from the clan that wasn’t the children thankfully many were being to warming up to me.  
Vazìepa has been the main reason for that. She would, much to their annoyance, constantly push me into groups of young hunters when she trained me or drag me into conversations with others in the clan. _“What did you find?”_ Vazìepa asked me approaching our little group _"A Yeirk with its' young."_ She gave me a hum of approval _“Good, your tracking is improving quite well.”_

 _“Yet she comes back empty-handed,”_ Häpunì says looking smug, a few others snickering behind him. _“The forest has not given her permission yet, and she knows this.”_ Vazìepa had said sternly wiping the smirk right off Häpunì's face. The sound of their voices faded as I watched Tsu’tey as he corrects a hunter on something. I honestly wonder if it’ll always be this way between us. The constant struggle of regret and sadness I hold as he and Neytiri continue to ignore my existence. A sudden shake of my shoulder snapped me out of my thoughts. Vazìepa stood beside me with a worried expression painted across her face.  
The others were already trudging on ahead of us _“Come,”_ she said in a calming voice _“It is time to go back.”_  
I gave her a short nod after looking between her and the rest of the group.

* * *

The sun warmed my face as I lay on my back in the tall grass surrounding the roots of hometree.  
I forced every thought out of my mind focusing on nothing by the scents and sounds around me. My deep breaths were in a rhythmic pattern as a gentle breeze brought me the scents of the meat and fruits cooking from the village, the scents of the damp soil, and of drying bark. While the sounds of young pa'li being guided by their mothers, the children’s yells and giggles as they played with one another, the chatter of the clansmen as they went about their work.  
This was starting to feel like home, more of a home than the lab could ever be. My ear twitched at the sound of crunching grass under approaching footsteps, a shadow blocked the sun rays that hit my face. Opening my eyes I was expecting to see Vazìepa standing above me but was met with the face of Eytukan staring down at me.  
_“I see you Do’yah,”_ he greeted me as touching his fingers to his forehead while moving back a bit to give me room to stand. _“I see you Olo'eyktan,”_ I say returning the gesture and rising to my feet, _“Vazìepa tells me you have been learning our ways quite well.”_  
_“Yes well,”_ I say shifting around awkwardly.  
_“She has also said you often become lost within your own mind.”_ His yellow eyes held an intense gaze as they bore into mine.  
It was as if he was looking directly into my soul.

A sense of sadness filled me as I looked away. It was difficult to face Tsu’tey and Neytiri with the cold shoulder I was given by them but it was even harder to face Eytukan and Mo'at. How the hell do you face the family of someone you could have saved?  
_“Forgive me, I have been losing myself to the_ ‘what ifs’ _too much,”_ I say, unable to hide the sadness in my voice. “What ifs?” He asked with a slightly confused expression, _“It is an expression used when wondering about how something may have gone differently or how something may happen.”_

 _“And what are you wondering?”_ I sighed, a painful stab hit my heart numbing it again as I closed my eyes.

 _“My thoughts keep going back to the school,”_ my voice shook as I spoke. _“I was there that day, but I got there too late,”_ I took a sharp inhale remembering the events,

 _“I can’t help but blame myself for what happened. If I had gotten there sooner, if I’d-”_ I stopped myself, I could feel the anger bubbling up inside me again. I didn’t want to lose myself to it again. _“I’m sorry I couldn’t save them,”_ I say barely above a whisper.

Eytukan placed a hand on my shoulder “ _You are not at fault child, you were not the one who killed them. We can not change what has happened and only hope for the best moving forward, they are with Eywa now.”_ I looked up at him, tears streaming down my face.  
_“I do not blame you,”_ he said with a look of sympathy on his face.

That broke the dam. Sobs spilled from me as I took a step forward, placing my head on Eytukan’s shoulder. I cried my heart out which startled him for a moment before he began to pat my back trying to calm me down.

After a while, I was finally able to stop crying _“I’m sorry,”_ I say, taking a step back while wiping my tear-stained face.  
_“You do not have to apologize for being vulnerable. There is no weakness in showing your emotions.”_ I huffed out a small laugh.  
_“You know, you remind me a bit of my father,”_ I say, my voice a bit raspy from all the crying. _“You both always seem to know the right words to say,”_ Eytukan gave a smile. _“Your father sounds like a wise man.”_ A smile grew on my lips, _“He is,”_

_“You must miss him a great deal.”_

_"I do, I miss my family more than anything,”_ I say with a hint of melancholy returning to my voice.

_“But I’ve always believed family was more than just blood. I have met people here that hold a place in my heart just as much as my family does.”_

* * *

I walked up to Vazìepa who was leading a pa’li along the shallow riverbank. The heat of the high noon sun beating down on us, _“I see you sister. What are we doing this time?”_ I asked with a bit more cheer to my tone.  
_“When does a hunter ride?”_ She asked removing the rope lead on the pa’li _“When they earn it,”_ I answered with slight confusion in my voice “Today you earn it.”

 _“Wait what?”_ I gave her a shocked look _"Do not look so surprised you have more than proven that you are ready.”_ I looked between her and the pa’li for a moment before shaking my head. What could go wrong? “Alright,” I say taking a step towards the pa’li and placing a hand on her neck, giving her a gentle pat.  
Reaching up to grab her antennae the pa’li stuck out her tongue and licked my face from chin to forehead. I huffed a bit “Alright ya littl-pfft.”  
She licked me again “Ugh! Uh! I had my mouth open damn it!” I shouted as I spit and whipped my face. Vazìepa cackled her head off at the scene. _“Not funny!”_  
I shouted at her which only made her laugh more. Shaking my head I turn back to the pa’li “Work with me will ya bud,” I say reaching for its antennae again.

I let a gasp and the pa’li jerked a bit as our queues melded together. I had never felt anything like it before. It was like I was suddenly more than what I was. I felt the strong muscles in her leg waiting to run. I could feel every one of her breaths as if it was my own, every single beat of her heart like it was mine. It felt amazing. Smiling, I somewhat gracefully pulled myself onto her back. _“Good, now you may tell her where to go,”_ Vazìepa said, patting the pa’li’s neck. “Okay,” taking a deep breath I steel myself for this “Forwards,” I commanded. The pa’li took off at top speed making me lose my balance causing me to fall off its back and land flat on my stomach. Vazìepa laughed as she stepped around me to chase after the pa’li.  
I stood there trying to wipe the mud off my person while Vazìepa was still laughing as she brought the pa’li back.  
_“Again.”_

* * *

I sat around a fire pit with a child in my lap and several more children at my sides while absorbed in conversation with the other hunters as per the norm now when it came to the evening meals. My heart felt a lot lighter after my conversation with Eytukan to the point that some of the others were able to pick up on my better mood. Looking up from the children I take a glance around the room.  
My brow furrowed as I caught sight of Neytiri and Tsu'tey seemingly having a heated discussion at the far end of the chamber.  
_“So Do’yah,”_ a voice from behind me called out, catching our attentions. Turning my head to look at the person who interrupted us as they crouched down to my left.  
He was an older Na’vi warrior adorned in a large bone necklace that wrapped around his neck and draped down his chest stopping at the center of his sternum and several beaded armbands.  
For the most part, you could tell someone’s position in the clan by the jewelry they wore.  
_“Tell me why does a sky person like yourself dress as a warrior when you are not a warrior?”_ He asked a slight amount of arrogance in his tone.  
Welp so much for my good mood. “I am not an Omaticaya warrior, yes,” I say curtly trying not to show too much of my annoyance on my face.  
_“You are not one yet you dress like one,”_ he stated again as if he had just solved the unsolvable. _“I did not say I wasn’t.”_ He looked a bit confused before a look of dawning realization crossed his face _“You are warrior of the sky people,”_ he said with such conviction.  
_“I was, and I will speak no more of this,”_ I say staring him in the eye with a look of cold seriousness.  
The others silently watched as the tension between us thickened to where it could be cut with a butter knife.

Looking away from him my eyes widened as I saw that Neytiri was now standing directly across from me on the other side of the fire. She barely even looks in my direction so her being this close you could say is than just a shock. She stood there shifting a bit awkwardly as if she was debating whether or not to go through with what she was thinking. _“May I speak with you for a moment?”_ She asked me with a bit of hesitance in her voice. I looked to my right over at Vazìepa who shared my surprised appearance. Locking eyes with me she gave me a small nod before taking the child in my lap who was now fast asleep into her arms before wandering off to find the boy’s parents.

* * *

I followed Neytiri to the uppermost level of hometree where the ikran stayed. The cool night breeze chilled my skin as I stood there waiting for Neytiri to speak.  
In all honesty, this felt like some weird-ass dream right now and I can’t really put my finger on why. _“I would like to apologize,”_ she said while facing away from me,  
my furrowed my brow in confusion at her words.  
The hell was she apologizing for?

When my silence became too much to bear she turned to face me with an intensely sorrowful look in her eyes _“I overheard your conversation with my father,”_ she paused for a moment trying to find the right words. _“Now that I know how you felt I realized that the way I was acting could be hurting you and for that I am sorry.”_  
A smile grew on my lips, despite the hesitancy in her voice I could hear the sincerity in her words. “Though I am still unsure of how to behave around you now,”  
I couldn't help myself as I took a couple of steps forward to pull her into a hug. It didn’t take Neytiri longer than a few quick moments before she wrapped her arms around me. _“Does this mean you forgive me?”_ She asked into my shoulder to which I let out a laugh _“Yes I forgive you,”_

 _“I missed you.”_ She with a slight quiver in her voice.

 _“I’ve missed you too,”_ I say, taking a step back to wipe a stray tear rolling down my cheek. _“Neytiri, just interact with me as you normally would, alright?”_ _“Okay,”_ she said while giving me a heartfelt smile. I pulled her in for another hug before patting her on the back _“Come on let’s head back down to the other.”_  
As we descended through the levels of hometree my heart felt lighter than it had in a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus Christ Did this bitch take me forever to write! The next chapter is going to take a while to come out as I have been losing motivation to write over the past few days but I really want to finish this fic.  
> So I'm going to be taking a few days off to try and recover from the mild burn out that I have before it becomes too much to handle. I'm guessing that the chapter is going to be out within the next two to three weeks depending on how motivated I am in these coming weeks.  
> Edit: I drew Doya's avatar. Please excuse my poor drawing skills  
> https://geekygamer211.tumblr.com/post/623583166041571328/im-been-unmotivated-to-write-today-so-i-decided


	7. Chapter 6: The Beauty of Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normal- English,  
> Italicized-Na’vi

* * *

The tapping of the rain hitting the roof was the only sound filling the deafeningly silent rooms of site 26. The light of the monitor I was sitting in front of was my only light source right now; everyone was already asleep by the time I was finally out of my link. With each passing day, I’ve been spending more and more time linked up than in my human body. You’d think with being a driver for almost a decade now that I’d be used to falling asleep in one body and waking up in another but that’s never been the case. This shit never gets any less mind-boggling. I placed a spoon full of my yogurt into my mouth as I squinted to read over the data report that was sent over in the dim lighting “You know that’s not good for your eyes,” Grace's quiet voice came through the monitor.

I called her to give an update on my situation with the Omaticaya, I was honestly lucky that she was even awake at this hour. I looked up from the documents for a moment before shifting my chair dack, taking my feet off the desk. “I know, don’t have much of a choice though,” I said in a hushed voice while shrugging and placing my spoon in my now empty bowl. “How long were you in today,” she asked, leaning forwards on her desk a bit. “Around 16 hours or so, I don’t know I lost track,” I rubbed my face as a small wave of exhaustion hit me causing a yawn to escape my lips.  
“I made my first kill today,” Grace looked a bit surprised, as much as she could in her sleep-deprived state. The dark circles under her eyes were getting worse.  
“How’d that go? You think you’re ready for Iknimaya?” She asked while downed the last of her coffee. “I don’t know,” I said while yawning again.  
“Vazìepa hasn’t mentioned anything yet. I mean, is two months enough time to be ready?”  
Grace just shook her head and shrugged. I adjusted my blanket, pulling it tighter around myself as yet another yawn escaped me.  
“You should really get some sleep kid,” I laughed a bit at that. “Look who’s talking! Have you even left the lab yet today?”

Grace just made a shooing gesture at me as she walks away from the monitor to get more coffee from the small drink station at the far end of the lab. The small smile I had faded off my lips “How are you doing Grace?” I asked as she sat back down “I’m doing fine.” she said, trying to avoid the subject. “Grace,” I said, seeing through her bluff. She sighed at my prodding “It hurts but I’m doing better, you know how hard it is to heal from shit like that.” I nodded “Yeah I know, I’m always here if you need someone to talk to.” “Thanks, Doya.” I stretched a bit as my head started to throb due to my lack of sleep. “Alright, I gotta get some rack. I’ll update you if anything major happens.” I said while another yawn left my lips “Get some sleep as well Grace.”

“Goodnight Doya,”

“Night Grace,” I say as I tapped the screen to end the call. Grace and I became rather close since the incident at the school. Grace is a damn good friend, shame it took the death of a few children for me to find that out.  
I always did find it odd how humans tend to find solace in those who have suffered in similar situations to ours.

* * *

The morning went by methodically collecting samples, analyzing them, recording results, the usual tedious work of a researcher. The airlock pushed out, Rachel walked into the room staring at the screen of the PH monitor in her hands as I sat there, poke needle in hand, tattooing a pattern of pagan symbols onto Jackson’s right forearm. “Where the hell did you get a tattoo needle?” Rachel asked as she took off her mask. “Bribed some people,” Jackson responded in a matter of fact tone.  
She gave him an ‘of course you did’ face. “I didn’t know you knew how to tattoo,” she said to me, pacing the PH monitor onto the counter in the little kitchenette we had. I wiped the excess of black ink off the tattoo as I finished “A friend I made in college husband taught me. You’re done by the way,” I say to Jackson, removing my gloves and tossing them in the waste bin.

“Huh, was that the rainbow beard guy or the boxer dude?” Rachel asked, “Boxer dude, his husband ran the tattoo parlor next door to his gym.”

“Ah, I see. Are you not linking up today?”

“I am, I just wanted to finish his tattoo before I go,” I say while sanitizing the table “Hey do mind doing me a favor?”

* * *

I ducked behind one of the various looms that the clan was known for to avoid the passing group of clansmen that have just returned to hometree carrying large baskets full of Yovo Fruit on their backs. As soon as they passed I made a quick dash from my hiding spot towards the shadows of the outer roots. I just needed to slip into the undergrowth without being seen and everything would be smooth sailing. I was crouched there pressed up against the edge of the root in the shadows waiting for an opening for far longer than I would’ve liked before I was finally able to the last dash into the wilderness.

I jogged along the gigantic roots and branches that intertwined within the canopy of the forest. The afternoon sun streamed through the cracks in the foliage of the canopy as the sound of the animals moving about their existence below me filled the jungle with life. I was strapped for time so I was only able to stop for a brief moment to watch a herd of angtsìk wander through the thick foliage. I moved as fast and carefully as possible while heading towards my destination. If you don’t pay attention you can lose light far too quickly and with what I’m doing I can’t risk getting caught in the night, far too dangerous. A sudden rustling and snaps in the branches above me caught my attention causing me to stop in my tracks.

My head dropped as I sighed, so much for not being followed. I looked up, my eyes darted around trying to spot the person who managed to follow this far without me noticing them while my tail swished rapidly in my irritation. _“I know you’re there, come out!”_ I say while placing a hand on my hip as my other tightens its grip on my bow. I stood there for a few moments.  
The only sounds were the noises of the jungle. Whoever they were despite being noticed must have gone stiff as a board because I could hear anything that indicated that they were even there anymore. I must’ve looked like a damn owl with my head continuing to snap around looking for them. About a minute past before I heard rustling again. I barely managed to step back in time as the person suddenly dropped on the root I was standing right in front of me.

“Oh shit,” I say in surprise as I got a good look at the person as he stood up, Tsu'tey had been the one who tailed me.

We both stood there in awkward silence with him shifting a bit sheepishly, neither one of us knowing what to say. Is it too late to turn tail and book it?  
_“You snuck out of the village, why?”_ He asked me abruptly, the shyness now gone from his demeanor. I stood there stunned for a moment before I got my composure back. _“I need to get something,”_ I say, starting to turn away before stopping myself for a moment. _“Alone,”_ I added as I went to leave again. I felt bad for trying to get away from him but I don’t want the surprise to be ruined. _“It's almost nightfall, it'll be too dangerous.”_ He said while lurching forward and catching my arm.  
_“I’ll be fine. Go back to the village,”_ I say trying to turn away yet again but Tsu'tey didn't loosen his grip on my arm. _“No,”_ he says, taking a step closer.  
Both of us stubbornly staring each other down for a solid few minutes before I noticed the sun shift a bit too much for my liking. _“Ugh fine!”_ I shook off his grip _“Come on we’ve lost too much light.”_

* * *

Tsu'tey trailed behind me as I navigated through the forest. My ears strained as I listened for the sound of Rachel and Matthew’s voices while we traversed the forest floor. We were nearing the old schoolhouse now when I finally picked up chattering in the distance. Nearing the edge of a clear Rachel and Matthew came into view. Rachel was crouched at the base of a tree while Matthew was placing equipment into his pack, both of them had their backs towards us.  
Tsu'tey grabbed my wrist and pulled me to a stop before we got close enough for them to notice us. _“What are you doing? Why are you going to them”_ he asked in a hushed voice, suspicion danced on his tone. _“I asked them to bring me something, Tsu'tey they mean no harm they can be trusted,”_ I say while placing my free hand on his shoulder trying to ease his uneasiness. His eyes flickered between me and uncertainty filled his gaze.  
_“It’s alright, look you don’t have to trust them just trust me, okay?”_ I tried my best to sound reassuring as I held a serious gaze.  
Tsu’tey eyes shifted between me and them again stilling looking unsure before he gave me a curt nod.

“Do these signals in this root seem off to you?” Rachel asked Matthew while showing him the small monitor for the probe we use to scan roots and other plans.  
“Hmm, I can’t really tell. Take some samples, we’ll ask Doya about it back at camp.” He said leading over her shoulder to get a better look at the monitor.

“Ask me what?” I said now standing directly behind them. “AH!” They yell in surprise as the fell over each other “Fuckin’ hell woman are you trying to give me a heart attack!” Rachel yelled at me as she stood up which only made me laugh.

“What can I say, I’m a master of stealth,” I joked. “Yeah, well, master of stealth you’ve been followed,” Matthew says in a sarcastic tone noticing Tsu’tey who stood a few feet behind me watching the three us. I sighed “I know,” I shook my head “Matthew, Rachel this is Tsu’tey, Tsu’tey this Rachel and Matthew.” I said while respectively gesturing to them. _“I see you,”_ they greeted Tsu’tey, who gave them a curt nod in return.

“Alright then what were you going to ask me?” Rachel handed me the monitor after tapping on a few buttons “Do these electrical signals seem odd to you? They don’t look much different from the one we recorded last time but, I don’t know they just feel off to me.”  
She said placing her hands on her hips as she moved next to me to look at the monitor with me. Looking over the signal there did seem to be a mild abnormality with them “Yeah there’s a small irregularity with the impulse in the roots. I’ll take a proper look at them back at camp.” I say handing her the monitor “Math can you hand me a vile and a pair of clippers,”

“Sure, here.”

“Thank you,” I say, taking the items from him and crouched down to snip off a piece of the root. Placing the sample into the vile I clamped it shut and handed the clippers back to Matthew before I put the sample into his pack.  
“Did you guys get everything out here?” I say hanging Matthew’s pack off my shoulder “Yep, come on I wanna be at the ship before dark. We still have to drop off the equipment.” Rachel said as she was put on her pack as well.

* * *

As the four of us reached the school Tsu’tey stopped at the edge of the clearing, I stopped as well when I didn’t hear his footsteps behind me anymore.  
“Hey Math, here,” I said, shrugging off the backpack and held it out for him, Matthew nodded and took the pack from me then continued into the school. I walked over to Tsu’tey who had a mixture of deep sadness and anger on his face, I placed an arm around his shoulders trying to comfort him. _“I miss them,”_ He said, not bothering to hide the sadness in his voice. _“I miss them too.”_ He placed a hand over mine that rested on his shoulder as he pressed against me. We stood like that for a while, silently watching the school, the sound of old memories playing in our minds. _“I’m sorry,”_ Tsu’tey said abruptly holding my hand a bit tighter, _“About avoiding you.”_ I gave him a small smile _“You don’t have to apologize. Neytiri already explained yours and her reasons for avoiding me. I knew you would speak to me again when you were ready.”_

Our sentimental moment was broken up by Rachel and Matthew coming out of the school bickering on about something. Tsu’tey tensed up as he moved out of my hold. “That CGI was actually good for its time,” Matthew said with much more enthusiastic about the topic than Rachel how as she wore a very disturbed expression.  
“I don’t get a shit about the CG that movie is a damn abomination!” Rachel yelled while adjusting her backpack to sit more comfortably on her shoulders.  
Tsu’tey gave me a questioning look as if to ask me ‘what are they talking about?’ I could only shrug and shake my head, I had no idea what they were going on about but I feel like I’ll regret asking. I gestured for Tsu’tey to follow as we headed off in the direction of the gunship “The hell are you two talking about?” I asked as I gracefully vaulted myself over a falling log.  
“You remember that century-old movie we watched a while back called Splice?” Rachel answered. My face immediately contorted in horror and I gagged a little bit

“Ugh! Dear god Matthew what the livid fuck man?!” I yelled in a mixture of shock and disgust. “What!?” Matthew yelled back obviously offended.

“How the hell can you defend that crap?”

“Hey! All I’m saying is the visuals were good for its time. I’m not defending its fuckin’ weird-ass story!”

“Good, if you were I’d have to disown you. No self-respecting scientist should ever defend that crap.”

“Amen to that,” Rachel said while chuckling.

The orange light of the setting sun streamed through the canopy as we finally reached the gunship sitting in the middle of a small clearing. Tsu’tey stayed back while the three of us approached the ship. I tapped on the window of the cockpit to wake up Jackson who had been napping while waiting for us to show up.  
“Rise and shine sleeping beauty,” I said as I tapped, Jackson yawned and gave me a small wave.  
I returned the gesture before I climbed into the ship and grabbed the handle of my guitar case that was under the row of seats and slid out.  
Sitting on the edge of the samson’s open gun door I adjust my bowstring so it lay perfectly across my torso. I hopped out of the samson and grabbed my guitar again “Thanks guys, I’ll see you back at camp.” Rachel gave me a two-finger salute as a send of while she and Matthew were strapping into their seats. Tsu’tey’s face was light face was lit up like a Christmas tree when he got a good look at what was in my hand. I smiled at him as I walked past him, the sound of the ship firing up behind us as we headed back in the direction of hometree.

 _“Those friends of yours, they are mates are they not?”_ Tsu’tey asked while keeping pace beside me.

I chuckled a bit _“No, but they are in love with each other. They’re oblivious to each other's feelings though.”_ I say while shaking my head.

Tsu’tey’s brow furrows at my answer _“How can they not tell with the way they look at each other?”_

_“As I said, they’re oblivious.”_

The sun was fully set by the time we made it back to hometree. The clan was bustling with life as they sat around the different fires for the evening meal. Sounds of songs being sung mixed the chatter of conversations filled the air as Tsu’tey as ascended up the main spiral. I’ve really come to love the sounds of clan life. Tsu’tey left my side to go to his spot next to Mo'at and Eytukan while I went to sit with Vazìepa who was sitting on the opposite side of the fire to Mo'at and Eytukan. I could hear many clansmen whispering as I passed while the excited voice of the children reached my ears as well.  
Vazìepa and the other sitting near her gave me skeptical looks as I sat down and placed my guitar case in front of me. _“What is that?”_ Someone behind me asked. Before I could answer, several children ran over, excitedly asking if I was going to play for them. I smiled at them before leaning forward to unlatch the case and picking up my guitar, the clan was silent as they watched me tune it. The silence helped carry the gentle notes of the melody I strummed away. I closed my eyes, losing myself in the song I began to sing.

When life leaves you high and dry

I'll be at your door tonight if you need help if you need help

I'll shut down the city lights,

I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bribe to make you well, to make you well

When enemies are at your door I'll carry you way from more

If you need help, if you need help

Your hope dangling by a string

Ill share in your suffering to make you well, to make you well

Give me reasons to believe,

That you would do the same for me

And I would do it for you, for you

Baby I'm not moving on

I love you long after you're gone

For you, for you

You would never sleep alone

I love you long after you're gone

And long after you're gone, gone, gone

When you fall like a statue

I'm gon' be there to catch you

Put you on your feet, you on your feet

And if your well is empty

Not a thing will prevent me

Tell me what you need, what do you need

I surrender honestly

You've always done the same for me

So I would do it for you, for you

Baby I'm not moving on

I love you long after you're gone

For you, for you

You would never sleep alone

I love you long after you're gone

And long after you're gone, gone, gone

You're my back bone, you're me cornerstone

You're my crutch when my legs stop moving

You're my headstart, you're my rugged heart

You're the pokes that I've always needed

Like a drum baby don't stop beating

Like a drum baby don't stop beating

Like a drum baby don't stop beating

Like a drum my heart never stops beating

For you, for you

Baby I'm not moving on

I love you long after you're gone

For you, for you

You would never sleep alone

I love you long after you're gone

For you, for you

Baby I'm not moving on

I love you long after you're gone

For you, for you

You would never sleep alone

I love you long, long after you're gone

Like a drum baby don't stop beating

Like a drum baby don't stop beating

Like a drum baby don't stop beating

Like a drum my heart never stops beating for you

And long after you're gone, gone, gone

I love you long after you're gone gone gone

As I finished the song I opened my eyes I noticed many clansmen closed theirs as they lost themselves in the song with me. _“That was beautiful,”_ Vazìepa said with a smile on her face _“Thank you, someone, very dear to me taught me to play that song before I left Earth.”_ I said with a somewhat bittersweet smile at the memories of her that song always brings back danced through my mind. _“Doya, play another please!”_ A couple of the children beside me asked I let out a small chuckle _“Alright.”_ I played many more songs that night, I played until most of the clan disappeared from the fire to sleep and the tired children were carried away by their parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually surprised that I finished this chapter as quickly as I did.  
> The song Doya played at the end there was Gone, Gone, Gone, by Phillip Phillips  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msL5pk3U-Ds  
> The person who taught Doya to play this song was actually her ex-girlfriend she was with right up until she left earth. She gets another, more in-depth mention in a later chapter.  
> I ordered a copy of the collector's edition sometime around late June and it finally got her last week so that's going to be a big help with the next chapters to come.  
> Also for the love of everything holy don't watch Splice! It had a good message about the morality of science experiments after a certain point but it got very fuckin lost in the weird-ass fetish scenarios.  
> Save your eyes, don't watch it.


	8. Chapter 7: Taking Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normal- English,  
> Italicized-Na’vi  
> Naming chapters is the bane of my existence!

The morning sun bled through the tangled mess of branches and leaves that made up the forest canopy, its beauty looked as if it was pulled from a painting as the moss felt soft against my stomach as I laid flat against the large branch very still while I stalked my prey.  
A pair of yeriks that I had been tracking for the last hour were grazing along the forest floor beneath me. Vazìepa was somewhere above me observing me while on my hunt. It’s been around five months since I’ve joined the clan and I still have yet to go through Iknimaya despite being told that I was advancing in skill faster than most. I hunted alone now, for the most part, but over the past few weeks Vazìepa has been hunting with me more to check how I’ve been improving on my own. Vazìepa has been an amazing teacher.  
I don’t think I would have improved as quickly as I did without her guidance.

I slowly brought myself out of my lying position moving into a crouch trying to not make the slightest amount of noise while trying to keep my balance as my grass woven satchel full of bannana fruit made me heavier on my right side. Nocking an arrow I took a sharp inhale as I drew my bow back while aiming at my prey. I exhaled as I released my arrow, it flew through the air with such speed that if you’d blink you’d miss it hit one of the yeriks sending the other one running. An excited smile on my face I grabbed one of the various vines wrapped around the branch I was on to help swing my down onto the forest floor, Vazìepa following after me. The yerik cried in pain with my arrow stuck in its side as I knelt next to it pulling out my knife I had strapped at my waist.  
_“I see you brother, and I thank you. Your spirit goes with Eywa, your body stays behind to become part of the People.”_ I say stabbing into its chest to end its suffering. Placing my knife back in its sheath I go to pull my arrow out _“You are ready.”_ Vazìepa says while she knelt beside me as I ripped the arrow from the yerik’s body. I looked up at her, surprise written across my face to which she gave me a small nod.  
My stunted expression quickly faded into a very large smile.

I hefted a heavy basket that was filled to the brim with _utumauti_ up with my knee to get a better hold on it. As I finally got a good grip on it a small group of young hunters returning for their overnight hunt trudged past me as they grumbled amongst themselves. Tsu’tey who was trailing slightly behind the group broke away from them and headed in my direction once he noticed me. He touched his fingers to his forehead in a silent greeting as he approached me. _“I see you brother,”_ I greeted him by bowing my head a bit _“Your night hunt went well I take it?”_ I asked jokingly as I watched the exhausted hunters climb the center spiral presumably heading to the hammocks.  
_“Don’t ask,”_ he said in a mildly annoyed tone, his signature grumpy frown plastered on his face. A smirk formed on mine as I shook my head in amusement _“You, Häpunì, and Ewngen shall be going to the ikran nest within the next few days.”_ He said in a matter of fact tone. I chuckled a bit _“I forgot just how fast bew spreads through the clan,”_  
_“Vazìepa told me as I returned.”_  
_“Ah, I see. Could you help me bring this basket over to Otio?”_ I said gesturing with my head to the other basket full of utumauti at my feet. Tsu’tey nodded and grabbed the basket with less trouble than me. _“So, how are your students doing?”_ I asked as we walked in Otio’s direction.

_“They are doing well for the most part. Nìpxire and An'ela have a long way to go however.”_

_“Be patient with them, they shall prove themselves in time.”_ I say slightly nudging him with my shoulder. _“I know that but it is hard to be a patient teacher with impatient students.”_ I laughed as I placed my baskets down next to Otio who was with a few others preparing Nikt'chey for tonight's hunt festival, hence the need for so many utumauti. Utumauti is a fruit that grows high in the forest canopy. It's considered very lucky to find them uneaten on the forest floor by the syaksyuks. Otio gave a nod for thanks before focusing back on his work. _“To be fair you’re not a very patient person to begin with,”_ I said standing up straight.

Tsu’tey frowned at my teasing. _“How did you and Vazìepa find this many utumauti anyway?”_ Tsu’tey asked me as he set down his basket as well “ _We got lucky though the syaksyuks were not happy with us however.”_ Tsu’tey started to laugh, presumably as he imagined the hilarious scene of Vazìepa and I being chased off by a bunch of prolemuris. A smile grew on my lips as I picked up a _utumauti_ from the top of the basket and held it out to Tsu’tey. He looked between me and _utumauti_ before he gave me a smirk as he took the fruit from me. As he pretended to take a bite from it I quickly stepped forwards and pushed his hand, squashing the fruit on his face. I just cackled while Tsu’tey coughed as he wiped the juice off his face. _“I will get you for this,”_ he said while scowling at me which only made me laugh harder. He looked at me with amusement as his smile returned to his face as he took an actual bite from the _utumauti_. _“It is not that funny,”_ he said with a full mouth as I finally managed to stop laughing _“Oh it’s utterly hilarious.”_  
_“You know, you should really smile more often. It suits you better.”_ I say patting his shoulder as I walked past him.

Tsu’tey and I sat with a few other hunters discussing random topics when a warrior named Akay plopped himself down next to me.  
_“So Do’yah I hear you are going through Iknimaya soon,”_ he asked me with a look of curiosity mixed with a bit of mischief.

 _“I am,”_ I respond a bit skeptically.

_“You know when you become part of the clan you can choose a mate-”_

_“Akay!”_ Tsu’tey shouted in an angry tone the type you use when reprimanding a misbehaving child. _“What?”_  
I sat there stunted for a moment before busting out laughing.

 _“Jeez and I thought Jacson had no filter!”_ I said shaking my head. “ _Before you ask, no I’m not looking for a mate. I’m too old to deal with that mess again.”_  
Most of the group gave me confused looks at my answer. _“You have a mate already?”_ A female hunter named Eylew asked me.

I sighed, I really don’t want to explain this! _“Alright look, humans don’t mate like Na’vi. It’s not a common occurrence for humans to only have one mate for their whole life, you’re actually rather lucky if that happens. Some humans don’t feel the need to have a mate at all, others may have many throughout their life.”_ As I finished my explanation they all stared at me as if I had grown a second head. This, this why I never want to explain this topic. How the hell do you explain this shit to a species that has no concept of it? I ran my hands over my face in frustration _“To answer you question Eylew, yes I did have a mate, I don’t have one now.”_ I paused for a moment trying to think of the right words to use.

_“I’ve had two mates in my life. Do you remember the woman I mentioned that taught me how to play the guitar? She was my second mate.”_

_“You had two mates at once?”_ Akay asked me, his brow furrowed in severe confusion.

 _“No, though I can see where my wording made you think that.”_ I sighed.

“ _Her name was Cora. I met her when my first mate lied to us about each other's existence. He told each of us that we were the only person he was with. We found out when we met for the first time, obviously, we were not happy about the situation. The only good thing that came out of the mess was Cora and I’s friendship. A few years later we realized we were in love with each other. I was with her up until I left Earth to come here.”_

 _“So, you’re not looking for a mate then?”_ Akay asked, causing me to facepalm. That was his take away? I started to laugh at just how awkward this situation became. “Nope, no nope nope!” I say standing up and almost literally ran from this conversation.

Don’t look down. Whatever you don’t look down. I chanted silently to myself as I climbed up the beanstalk of floating boulders held together by vines, my heartbeat hammering in my ears. I had no problems with heights but I’d rather not fall to my death especially when I was this far above the clouds.  
Reaching the top of the pillar I stood slightly behind Tsu’tey waiting for the floating island to move into position for us to climb up the vines dangling off the bottom of it. The creaking sounds of the island was only mildly discomforting. You’d think staying in the link shack on a creaky floating island for nearly half a year you’d be used to the sounds of the islands moving. _“Hold!”_ Tsu’tey called out to us as the island was just about in the right position.  
Häpunì and Ewngen finally reached the top of beanstalk right as the vines floated in front of us _“Now!”_ Tsu’tey shouted as he leapt off the rock and grabbed onto a vine. On his cue the three of us leapt onto a vine and began to climb, Ewngen yipped as she climbed. Words alone cannot describe the terrifying beauty of running along ginormous roots in the clouds. An endless sea of blue sky above you while the ocean of clouds sat beneath you.  
I will get over the enchanting beauty of this planet.

Our footsteps echoed through the wet cave tunnel as we climbed to the ikran nest. Finally, reaching the end of the tunnel the sound of the rushing waterfall and the screeching of hundreds of ikrans filled my ears. Häpunì and I crouch close to the edge of the cliff face watching the ikrans flying majestically through the air.  
Simply watching them from afar you could feel the power of their wings with every flap.  
Moving back from the edge I pulled at the brownish fabric of my riding leggings _“Do’yah you will go first,”_ Tsu’tey said to me. I gave him a curt nod and handed him my bow before I moved to cross the small ledge under the waterfall.  
The cool temperature of the water rock chilled my back as I took cautious steps while I tried to steel myself by taking deep breaths. I only had one chance when my ikran chooses me.

Fuck ups weren’t an opption.

I peered out from under the waterfall at the nest. Dozens of ikran screeched and roared as they hung off the sides of the cliffs and guarded their eggs. Moving out from under the waterfall I grabbed the bolo from my hip and unfurled it. The ikrans hissed and roar at me as I moved further into the nest. I eyed the warily as I did small mock charges to test the ikrans near me. The ones that I charged at merely let out a hiss before diving off the cliff or crashed into other ikrans trying to get away from me. I was in the center of the nest when a ikran that was mostly orange and lavender with random splotches of cyan across its body caught my attention. It hiss at me as I slowly approached it and didn’t back down when I taunted a charge, it only seemed to get more aggressive.  
Häpunì and Ewngen hollered and cheered for me in the distance. A smirk spreading across my lips as I cocked my head at it and let out a faral hiss at it.

I swung the bolo in a circular motion to distract it, taking the challenge the ikran lunged at me. I managed to sidestep in time and swung the bolo around its’ jaw forcing it shut giving me the opportunity to leap onto its’ neck.  
Trying using a headlock move on it probably was the right move, it left me no opening to grab it’s que. As I attempted to use my leg to keep it in a headlock the ikran launched me off its neck sending me sliding across the ground almost sending me off the edge of the cliff.

Shaking off dazed feeling I quickly got back on my feet and ran at it. Throwing myself onto its neck again, the momentum of my leap helped me slam its head down, stunning it long enough for me to grab its queue and mine and connect the two before it could throw me off. She continued to struggle as a shudder ran through me when we connected. _“STOP!”_ I ordered it and it immediately stopped thrashing. I was completely out of breath as I let out a huff of a laugh in victory.  
_“Easy, easy,”_ I said in a calming tone as she allowed me to remove the bolo from her jaws. Once her jaws were free she raised to her full height as I sat at the base of her neck, my feet barely able to touch the ground.  
I looked over past the cliff edge at the open sky, a rush of excitement filled my veins “Come on bud.” I whisper to my ikran before willing her to take flight. She flapped up off the ground a few feet before diving over the edge of the ciff faster than I thought she would.

“HOLY SHIT!” I screamed as we spiralled out of control. I clung onto her neck for dear life as we nearly slammed into the mountainside multiple times on the way down. My heart was hammering out of my chest as I was scrambling to get back into position on the base of my ikrans neck right as we went through one of the many waterfalls flowing off into the sky. “For fucks sake fly straight already!” Immediately my ikran compiled and balanced out, gilded gracefully through the air as she did so. Letting out a sigh of relief I was finally able to get position on her neck, the fear in my blood faded into a child-like wonder. I was flying! I was actually flying! The rush of wind on my face and through my hair felt like an exhilarating roller coaster ride but FAR more freeing.  
I couldn’t help the uncontrollable giggles that escaped from me as my ikran and I soared through the sky.

“I’m telling you flying in the samson got nothing on flying with an ikran!” I said, spooning oatmeal into my mouth. Excitement still pumping through my veins hours after returning to my human body. “Whatever man, the samson is still amazing as hell!” Jakson said, pointing a fork he was cleaning at me.

“I don’t even have words for how just amazing the feeling of flying so freely is!” A stupid smile been plastered on my face since we made it back to hometree and it wasn’t going away anytime soon. “Someone’s in love,” Matthew joked as he was reorganizing the testing chemicals on the shelves next to the bunks.

“Damn right I am!” My reaction made them laugh. “So what did you name her?” Rachel asked me sitting across from me at the table at the windows.

_“Yrrap,”_

“Storm? Really?”

“Yep!”

“Cliche man.” Jackson said while scrubbing a plate “Fuck off!” I say jokingly while placing my bowl in the sink making him flip me off.

“You only have the dream hunt left before you’re one of the clan right?” Jackson asked. “Yeah, I’m supposed to go through it at the end of the week,” I squeezed in between Rachel’s chair and a crouching Matthew to get to my foot locker under my bed for my toothbrush and paste.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? We have no idea how an avatar brain will handle the arachnoid’s neurotoxins.” Rachel said the worry in her voice was clear as day.

“Rachel, I’ll be fine I promise.” I said trying to reassure her. “Besides my only worry about it is what I’ll see during it,” I say before sticking my toothbrush in my mouth.

“You think you’re going to find your spirit animal?” Jackson asked.

“Alwedy found dit, ids ah owl.”

“Of course it is!” Jackson quipped.

“Can it fox,” I say after spitting out my toothpaste, making Jackson flip me off again. I returned the gesture.

“Can we go back to the fact that Doya may die during the dream hunt!?” Rachel said in an aggravated tone.

“She’s not going to die Rachel, she’s done a spiritual journey before.” Matthew said, placing his hands on her shoulders trying to calm her.

“Yeah one that involved fasting and isolation, not a deadly neurotoxin!” I crouched down in front of her, taking her hands in mine.

“Rachel, I’ll be okay. My avatar is not going to die, everything will be alright.” I say hold a steady gaze with her.

“Okay,” she said, seeming to be calming down.

“Oh-kay! How ‘bout we lighten the mood with some cards against humanity?” Matthew asked while rubbing Rachel’s shoulders.

“Bitch you’re on!” Jackson yelled as he threw down his rubber gloves.


End file.
